Terms of address in Japanese: Pronouns, names, kinship terms, and more

First-person pronouns are words used to refer to the speaker ("I") or to a group that includes the speaker ("we"). The charts below illustrate the most common ways to say "I" and "we" in Standard Japanese:

There are many other ways to say "I" and "we" in Japanese, but for now, let's go over this basic list in a bit more detail!

The list above is just enough to get you started! Some of the alternative forms are quite common in Japanese. For example:

• Some male speakers use 自分[jibun](lit. oneself) to mean “I” in semi-polite settings.

• Young female speakers, especially in western Japan, may call themselves うち[uchi].

• In formal papers and published works, the word 筆者[hissha](lit. writer) is commonly used for “I.”

For more alternative forms like these, check out our larger chart of Japanese first-person pronouns. In there you'll see several alternate forms, plural endings, and regional variants.

Second-person pronouns are the "you" pronouns, used to refer to the person or people being directly addressed. The most common ways to say "you" in Standard Japanese are illustrated in the chart below:あなた[anata], 君[kimi], おまえ[omae], and あんた[anta].

As you can see from the table above, addressing a superior as "you" in Japanese is generally seen as rude. This can be true even when addressing someone who is not a superior, but there are contexts where you'll use these pronouns. So let's go through them. We'll get into some ways you can avoid using second-person pronouns below!

While these might be the most common second-person pronouns, there are a lot more Japanese second-person pronouns to learn! For example:

• In Osaka, 自分[jibun] can be used as “you” by both male and female speakers among friends and peers. This usage is said to be gaining popularity in other regions too. (You might remember that some male speakers use 自分[jibun](oneself) as an alternative “I” as well!)

• Some people use おたく (お宅)[otaku](lit. your house/family) to address acquaintances respectfully. This pronoun is the likely source of the word オタク[otaku], used to describe people who enthusiastically embrace certain subcultures like anime and games, because people in these groups address each other using this pronoun!

Check out our second-person pronouns table to see even more!

After all those first- and second-person pronouns, you might expect to see a lot of third-person pronouns as well. However, in standard Japanese, third-person pronouns are quite simple and can all be used by male or females.

But while these pronouns are simple, they are still restricted in use. They are only used for people who are known to both the speaker and the listener. They should never be used to refer to a social superior and would sound unnatural when used for children.

If you know the name of your listener, it’s the best to use that to address them, instead of using a second-person pronoun like あなた[anata] or 君[kimi]. Doing this helps you create rapport with them.

Most often we do this by taking either someone's surname or given name and attaching an honorific title likeさん[san], 様[sama], 先生[sensei], 君[kun], or ちゃん[chan]. The title you choose will be related to the social status and age of the person you're addressing, as well as their relationship with you. Here are some tips that will help you do this appropriately.

• Adults will usually address an acquaintance or coworker by attaching an honorific title to their surname.

• If you are close with someone, you can address them using their given name, with an honorific title attached instead.

• If you are very close to the person (e.g., family, partner), you might be allowed to use their name without honorific titles, but this is considered rather a privilege. Calling someone by only their name only is called 呼び捨て[yobisute] and considered rude if the other person doesn’t consent to it.

• You should never use any honorific title with your own name, or when introducing members of your family!

Though using someone's name instead of "you" may be most important for politeness, it's also common to use people's names in place of "he" or "she." Children will even use their own name in place of "I"!

Let's look at an example!

• Satsuki directly addresses her younger sister Mei:

  Satsuki:

  めいもいっしょに行く？

  Mei mo issho ni iku?

  Are you coming with us too?

  → Satsuki uses Mei's name instead of the second-person pronoun あなた[anata](you). Notice that there is no honorific because Satsuki and Mei are very close!

• Satsuki's friend speaks to Satsuki about Mei:

  Satsuki’s friend:

  めいちゃんもいっしょに行くの？

  Mei chan mo issho ni iku no?

  Is she coming too?

  → Satsuki's friend uses Mei's given name plus an honorific, ちゃん[chan], rather than using the third-person pronoun 彼女[kanojo](she). While she knows Mei well enough to use her given name, they are not close enough for her to skip the honorific.

• Mei, who is four years old, answers their questions:

  Mei:

  めいも行く！

  Mei mo iku!

  I’m going too!

  → Mei uses her own name (without honorifics!) instead of 私[watashi](I) to talk about herself. Children often do this in Japanese!

When the speaker and the listener both know who is being referred to, third-person pronouns are often replaced by phrases that use like "this" or "that." Here are some of the common demonstratives you'll use to do this:

• その人[sono hito](that person by you) and あの人[ano hito](that person over there) can work as gender-free replacements for third-person pronouns. Here are some variations:

  • Use あの人たち[ano hito tachi] as a plural form, like you might use "they" or "them."

  • To refer to someone who is your social superior, replace 人[hito] with 方[kata] as in あの方[ano kata] or あの方たち[ano kata tachi].

  • To refer to a child, replace 人[hito] with 子[ko](child) as in あの子[ano ko].

  • If you want to specify the gender of the person you are referring to, you can add, add either 男の[otoko no](male) or 女の[on’na no](female) before 人[hito], 方[kata], or 子[ko], as in その男の子[sono otoko no ko](that boy).

• そいつ[soitsu] and あいつ[aitsu] are used as a casual and rather rough way to refer to someone. They're mainly used by male speakers to refer to close friends and family members but they can also be used to refer to someone who you despise.

You can also use the demonstrative phraseそちら[sochira](lit. there, by you) as a polite way to say "you", in conversations over distance, like over the phone. To be even more polite, use そちら様[sochira sama].

In Japanese, second and third-person pronouns are rarely used among family members. Instead, kinship terms like “mother” or “elder sister” are used in their place. These can even replace the first-person pronouns in some cases!

There are two types of kinship terms: plain version and polite version. For example:

Which to use depends on the given situation.

• If you're talking to someone outside of your family, use the plain form to mention your own family members and the polite form to mention anyone else's family members.

  polite formplain form

  Speaker A:

  きのう、鈴木さんのお姉さんに会いましたよ。お姉さん、すてきな方ですね。

  Kinō, Suzuki san no onēsan ni aimashita yo. Onēsan, sutekina kata desu ne.

  I met your elder sister yesterday, Mr. Suzuki. She is a lovely person, isn’t she?

  Speaker B:

  え〜、冗談でしょう。姉は外面がいいだけですよ。

  Ē, jōdan deshō. Ane wa sotozura ga ii dake desu yo.

  Huh, you must be kidding. She just acts affable toward outsiders.

• If you're talking to a member of your family, you can use either the plain or polite form. But adults and older siblings will usually use the term that describes the relationship between the person you're discussing and the youngest member of the family!

  For example:

  • A parent will often address their older children as お姉ちゃん[onēchan](big sister) or お兄ちゃん[oniichan](big brother) instead of using their first names or "you," since, to the youngest member of the family, they are an older sibling.

  • A husband may call his wife お母さん[okāsan](mother) or ママ[mama], depending on what word their children generally use.

  Younger siblings will generally address older ones by kinship terms (e.g., お姉ちゃん) while older siblings address younger ones by their first names or nicknames.

  Notice how Mei's father refers to himself and other members of the family using the terms that describe their relationship to Mei:

  motherfatherMei (youngest child)satsuki (elder daughter)

  Mei:

  お父さん、お母さんは？

  Otōsan, okāsan wa?

  Dad, where’s Mom?

  Father:

  お母さんは仕事。今日はめいとお姉ちゃんのごはん、お父さんが作ってやるからな。

  Okāsan wa shigoto. Kyō wa Mei to onēchan no gohan, otōsan ga tsukutte yaru kara na.

  lit. Mom went to work. Dad will make meals for Mei and big sister today, OK?

If referring to a member of your community who is not a family member, and whose name you may not know, you'll most often use a word that describes their social role, rather than a second- or third-person pronoun. Let's look at what sorts of social roles you can use!

• Age group

  You can often refer to a member of your community using a kinship term that reflects their age. So you might refer to an older woman as "grandma" or a young man as "big brother." Here, we also use a term that would be appropriate for the youngest people present. Let's look at some of the common terms you might use this way!

  What kind of person	Kinship Term	Literal Meaning
  A young woman	お姉ちゃん / お姉さん onēchan / onēsan	big sister
  A middle-aged woman	おばちゃん / おばさん obachan / obasan	aunt
  An elderly woman	おばあちゃん / おばあさん obāchan / obāsan	grandma
  A young man	お兄ちゃん / お兄さん oniichan / oniisan	brother
  A middle-aged man	おじちゃん / おじさん ojichan / ojisan	uncle
  An elderly man	おじいちゃん / おじいさん ojiichan / ojiisan	grandpa

  When talking to children, adult speakers may also use the same terms to refer to those people or even themselves. Here are some examples:

  Child:

  このお菓子、お隣のおばちゃんにもらった。

  Kono okashi, otonari no obachan ni moratta.

  The auntie next door gave me these sweets.

  Mother:

  そう。ちゃんとおばちゃんにありがとうって言った？

  Sō. Chanto obachan ni arigatō tte itta?

  I see. Did you say thank you to auntie properly?

  → The mother refers to her neighbor as おばちゃん[obachan](auntie) when speaking to her child, even though she would probably use the neighbor’s last name when speaking to her directly, as in, 田中さん[Tanaka san](Ms. Tanaka).

  Here are some terms that adults might use to refer to children, or younger members of their community:

  What kind of person	Japanese Term	Literal Meaning
  boys and youths	坊や bōya	boy, son, kid
  little girls	お嬢ちゃん ojōchan	little Miss
  older girls	お嬢さん ojōsan	Miss

  Here's an example:

  Man:

  よし、坊や。おじさんが取ってあげよう。

  Yoshi, bōya. Ojisan ga totte ageyō.

  Ok, son. Uncle will to get it for you.

  → The man is calling himself おじさん[ojisan](uncle) even though he is not related to the child.

  Important

  If you're an adult, you'll want to be a little careful about referring to someone as おばさん[obasan](auntie) or おじさん[ojisan](uncle)! While you can always use these terms to refer to yourself, if you use them to refer to someone else it can sound a little like you're calling attention to their advanced age. Many people, especially women, don’t like to be called with age-specific kinship terms by adult non-family members.

  So unless you are a child, it’s better to stick with names and other sorts of social roles for people in these age groups!

• Job Title

  In Japanese, we often directly address and refer to people using job titles, rather than pronouns. Though you'll sometimes hear this in formal English (e.g. "Mr. President"), in Japanese it's especially common since you really shouldn't ever use pronouns to refer to a social superior.

  A student is talking to their teacher:

  先生の本をお借りしてもいいですか。

  Sensei no hon o okarishite mo ii desu ka.

  May I borrow teacher's book?

  → You wouldn't use ❌あなたの本[anata no hon](your) to refer to your teacher, since they're your social superior.

  Here are a few Japanese job titles you're especially likely to use this way:

  Job Title	English
  先生 sensei	teacher; doctor
  教授 kyōju	professor
  主任 shunin	chief, head, lead
  部長 buchō	department director

• Occupation

  If you know someone's occupation, you can address them using the word for their occupation plus the ending さん[san]. You'll often use this to address professionals you interact with in day-to-day life.

  A rider is talking to their taxi driver:

  運転手さんは地元の人ですか。

  Untenshu san wa jimoto no hito desu ka.

  lit. Is Mr. Driver from this town?

  For example, the police officers are officially called 警察官[keisatsukan], but citizens often call them おまわりさん[omawari san](lit. Mr/Ms Patrol) as a friendly moniker. Some other examples are 郵便屋さん[yūbin’ya san](Mr/Ms Mail carrier), 駅員さん[eki’in san](Mr/Ms Station employee), 運転手さん[untenshu san](Mr/Ms Driver), and 看護士さん[kangoshi san](Mr/Ms Nurse).

  Occupation	Term of address	Literal Meaning
  Police	おまわりさん omawari san	Mr./Ms. Patrol
  Mail Carrier	郵便屋さん yūbin’ya san	Mr./Ms. Mail Carrier
  Station Employee	駅員さん eki’in san	Mr./Ms. Station Employee
  Driver	運転手さん untenshu san	Mr./Ms. Driver
  Nurse	看護士さん kangoshi san	Mr./Ms. Nurse

  How to refer to a customer?

  At a more formal business, like a bank, hotel, restaurant, or department store, a customer would be referred to as "Mr./Ms. Customer," using a title like お客様[okyaku sama] or, more casually, お客さん[okyaku san].

  A hotel bell man is taking a guest to their room:

  お客様のお部屋はこちらです。

  Okyaku sama no oheya wa kochira desu.

  lit. Ms. Customer's room is this way.

  However, a friendly shopkeeper might be less formal and just use 奥さん / 奥様[okusan / okusama](Ma'am) and 旦那さん / 旦那様[dan'na san / dan'na sama](Sir).

  A boutique owner is helping their female customer:

  まあ、そのワンピース、奥様によくお似合いですよ。

  Mā, sono wanpiisu, okusama ni yoku oniai desu yo.

  Oh, Ma'am looks amazing in that dress.