How to say “to give” and “to receive” in Japanese?

When you describe the act of giving something in Japanese, you can use あげる[ageru](to give) or くれる[kureru](to give). For receiving, もらう[morau](to receive) is used. You might wonder why there are two verbs that mean "to give." The usage of these words is unique to Japanese and a little hard for learners to understand at first, but you’ll be able to use them appropriately if you know the social concepts behind them. In this article, we will cover…

• Important concepts to understand giving and receiving in Japanese.

• How to express giving using あげる[ageru] vs. くれる[kureru].

• How to express receiving using もらう[morau].

Let’s get to it!

A language is closely connected to the society where it is used. Relationships between people and the way they see things are usually reflected in their language. Giving and receiving in Japanese are not exceptions. To understand how they work, there are two important concepts to know:

• In-group vs. out-group

• Speaker’s viewpoint

In-group vs. out-group

The use of giving and receiving verbs in Japanese reflects how the speaker sees their relationships. People belong to various social circles, and the relationships within the circle are mainly divided into three parts: me (or the speaker), in-group, and out-group.

Social spheres for giving and receiving in Japanese

As shown in the picture, oneself (or the speaker) is always in the center. It is surrounded by in-group or うち[uchi](inside) people that the speaker is close to or empathizes with, such as their family and friends. Everyone else is basically included in the outermost circle, out-group or そと[soto](outside).

The distinction between the "in-group" and the "out-group" is similar to the distinction between “us” and “them” in English, in that it isn’t always fixed. The exact people in the "in-group" can vary based on context and based on the speaker's feelings at a given moment in time.

Keeping in mind the two concepts above, let’s move on to the actual expressions.

There are two ru-verbs in Japanese that are translated as "to give": あげる[ageru] and くれる[kureru]. The differences between the two are the direction of giving and the viewpoint the speaker takes.

あげる [ageru]

あげる[ageru](to give) is used when the direction of giving is away from the speaker or in-group members. Because of this, the giver should be the speaker or an in-group member, except in a few cases. Possible cases of あげる[ageru] are as follows:

• I (the speaker) give something to an in-group member

• I (the speaker) give something to an out-group member

• An in-group member gives something to an out-group member

Giving with "ageru"

In sentences, the item that is given is marked by the direct object marker を[o], while the following pattern is used for the giver and receiver. Please note that the giver is often omitted if it refers to the speaker.

Giver + は[wa] / が[ga]

Receiver + に[ni]

あげる

ageru

( 私は) 母にプレゼントをあげます。

(Watashi wa ) haha ni ni purezento o agemasu.

I'm going to give a present to my mom.

→ speaker to in-group

( 私は) 近所の人に おみやげをあげました。

(Watashi wa) kinjo no hito ni omiyage o agemashita.

I gave souvenirs to my neighbors.

→ speaker to out-group

私の父は、ウエイターにチップをあげました。

Watashi no chichi wa ueitā ni chippu o agemashita.

My dad gave a tip to the waiter.

→ in-group to out-group

あげる[ageru] is used when the speaker describes the action from the giver’s perspective. That’s why the giver is marked by the topic marker は[wa] or the subject marker が[ga]. The receiver is marked by the destination marker に[ni].

Important

あげる[ageru] can also be used when the giver and receiver are equally "close" to the speaker (e.g., from an in-group member to another in-group member or from an out-group member to another out-group member).

• giver: in-groupreceiver: in-group

  父が母に指輪をあげました。

  Chichi ga haha ni yubiwa o agemashita.

  My dad gave a ring to my mom.

• giver: out-groupreceiver: out-group

  山田さんが佐藤さんにケーキをあげました。

  Yamada san ga Satō san ni kēki o agemashita.

  Ms. Yamada gave a cake to Ms. Sato.

  → This is the only case where an out-group member can be the giver in a sentence using あげる[ageru]!

You can also use あげる[ageru] in negative sentences.

母の日だったのに、田中さんはお母さんに何もあげなかったそうです。

Haha no hi datta noni, tanaka san wa okāsan ni nani mo agenakatta sōdesu.

Although it was Mother’s Day, Mr. Tanaka didn’t give anything to his mom.

In negative sentences, though, あげる[ageru] is often used in the potential form. This form is preferred when you want to sound polite because it can indirectly express that you intended to give something but didn’t or couldn’t because of a circumstance.

友達にプレゼントをあげたかったのに、お金がなくて、あげられませんでした。

Tomodachi ni purezento o agetakatta noni, okane ga nakute, ageraremasen deshita.

Although I wanted to give my friend a present, I didn’t have money and couldn’t give it to her.

Tip

There are some cases where you can use the u-verb やる[yaru] instead of あげる[ageru]. Technically speaking, やる[yaru] is the original verb for “to give” and あげる[ageru] is its humble form. However, people started using あげる[ageru] more often to show politeness, and now it’s become a common verb for “to give.” やる[yaru] can still be used when the receiver is an animal, a plant, or an in-group member in a lower position.

• 花に水をやります。

  Hana ni mizu o yarimasu.

  I will water the flowers.

  lit. I will give water to the flowers.

• 息子にお小遣いをやりました。

  Musuko ni okozukai o yarimashita.

  I gave some pocket money to my son.

くれる [kureru]

くれる[kureru] is used when the direction of giving is toward the speaker or in-group members. Due to the direction, the receiver should be the speaker or an in-group member. Possible cases of くれる[kureru] are as follows:

• An out-group member gives something to an in-group member

• An out-group member gives something to me (the speaker)

• An in-group member gives something to me (the speaker)

Giving with "kureru"

くれる[kureru] has the same sentence structure as あげる[ageru]. Please note that the receiver is often omitted if it refers to the speaker.

Giver + は[wa]/が[ga]

Receiver + に[ni]

くれる

kureru

近所の人が、娘にお菓子をくれました。

Kinjo no hito ga musume ni okashi o kuremashita.

The neighbor gave snacks to my daughter.

→ out-group to in-group

知らない人が、(私に) あめをくれました。

Shiranai hito ga (watashi ni) ame o kuremashita.

A stranger gave me candy.

→ out-group to speaker

父が、(私に) かばんをくれました。

Chichi ga (watashi ni) kaban o kuremashita.

My dad gave me a bag.

→ in-group to speaker

Although the subject of a くれる[kureru] sentence is the giver, they describe the event from the receiver’s perspective. Due to this viewpoint, くれる[kureru] cannot be used in grammatical forms that focus on the giver’s intention or abilities. This means that you won't use this verb in the -tai form, volitional form, or the potential form.

❌ 友達が、弟にプレゼントをくれたいです。

Tomodachi ga otōto ni purezento o kuretaidesu.

My friend wants to give my younger brother a present.

To fix this, you can phrase your sentence as hearsay, with hearsay expressions like the ones below.

• ✅友達が、弟にプレゼントをくれるそうです。

  Tomodachi ga otōto ni purezento o kureru sōdesu.

  I heard that my friend would give my younger brother a present.

• ✅友達が、「弟さんにプレゼントをあげたい」と言っていました。

  Tomodachi ga, “Otōto san ni prezento o agetai” to itte imashita.

  My friend was saying, “I want to give your younger brother a present.”

  → あげる[ageru] is used here even the gift moves from the mother to the current speaker. This is because we are quoting what the mother said, and from her perspective, the gift was traveling towards an in-group member.

Any sentence that uses くれる[kureru] can be rephrased to use the verb もらう[morau](to receive; to get) instead. You just need to swap whether the giver or the receiver is the subject of the sentence. The receiver is often omitted if it refers to the speaker.

• Giver + は[wa]/が[ga]

  Receiver + に[ni]

  くれる

  kureru

  to give

  友達が (私に) クッキーをくれました。

  Tomodachi ga (watashi ni) kukkī o kuremashita.

  My friends gave me cookies.

• Receiver + は[wa]/が[ga]

  Giver + に[ni]

  もらう

  morau

  to receive

  (私は、) 友達にクッキーをもらいました。

  (Watashi wa) tomodachi ni kukkī o moraimashita.

  I got cookies from my friends.

Other than this sentence structure difference, もらう[morau] is similar in meaning to くれる[kureru]. Both verbs focus on the receiver’s perspective, and indicates that the gift moves towards the speaker.

Possible cases of もらう[morau] include the following:

• An in-group member receives something from an out-group member

• I (the speaker) receive something from an out-group member

• I (the speaker) receives something from an in-group member

Here's a few more examples:

もらう can also be used in negative sentences:

• 弟は誕生日プレゼントをもらったのに、私はもらいませんでした。

  Otouto wa tanjōbi purezento o moratta noni, watashi ha moraimasendesita.

  My brother got a birthday present, but I did not.

• 会社の上司が厳しくて、全然休みをもらえません。

  Kaisha no jōshi ga kibishikute, zenzen yasumi o moraemasen.

  My boss is strict, so I cannot get any days off.

  → Here we use the potential form. As we saw in the negative form あげる, it is preferred when you want to indirectly express that you want to get something but don’t or can’t because of circumstances.

Let's look now at some examples of different "giving" situations, and see if you can choose between using あげる[ageru] and くれる[kureru] or もらう[morau].

• Let’s imagine your dad got a present from his colleague. Which verb(s) would you use to describe this situation? あげる[ageru] or もらう[morau]?

  That’s right! もらう[morau] (or くれる[kureru]) is more appropriate here. Your dad is an in-group member, while his colleague is not, so this is a gift traveling toward the speaker.

  ✅ 父は、同僚にプレゼントをもらいました。

  Chichi wa dōryō ni prezento o moraimashita.

  My dad got a present from his colleague.

  → out-group to in-group

• Now, imagine your brother gives something to your friend. This is a gift from one in-group member (brother) to another in-group member (friend). So is it traveling towards you or away from you?

  Usually, your brother is going to be considered a closer in-group member than your friend, which means that あげる[ageru] is going to sound most natural in this situation.

  ✅ 弟は、私の友達にチョコレートをあげました。

  Otōto wa watashi no tomodachi ni chokorēto o agemashita.

  My younger brother gave chocolate to my friend.

  → in-group (closer) to in-group (further)

  Using もらう[morau] or くれる[kureru] to describe this situation would sound unnatural, since these verbs are for when a gift travels towards the speaker.

  ❌ 私の友達は、弟にチョコレートをもらいました。

  Watashi no tomodachi wa otōto ni chokorēto o moraimashita.

  My friend got chocolate from my younger brother.

  → in-group (closer) to in-group (further)

• But what if your dad gave something to your mom? This is another case of an in-group member giving something to another in-group member, but it's trickier since your parents are both equally close to you.

  In this case, you can take either perspective!

  • ✅ 父が母に指輪をあげました。

    Chichi ga haha ni yubiwa o agemashita.

    My dad gave a ring to my mom.

    → in-group (close) to in-group (close)

  • ✅ 母は父に指輪をもらいました。

    Haha wa chichi ni tīshatsu o moraimashita.

    My mom got a T-shirt from my dad.

    → in-group (close) to in-group (close)

  The same is true if both the giver and receiver are out-group members, equally distant from the speaker.

When あげる[ageru], くれる[kureru], and もらう[morau] are used in questions, the viewpoint usually switches and what matters is which way the gift is traveling relative to the listener. Let's look at an example.

• A gift that travels away from the listener: あげる[ageru]

  ✅ 友達に何をあげたんですか。

  Tomodachi ni nani o ageta ndesu ka.

  What did you give to your friends?

  → listener to listener's in-group

• Gifts that travel towards the listener: くれる[kureru] or もらう[morau]

  • 田中さんがその写真をくれたんですか。

    Tanaka san ga sono shashin o kureta ndesu ka.

    Did Mr. Tanaka give that picture to you?

    → listener's out-group to listener

  • ✅ 誰にその手紙をもらったんですか。

    Dare ni sono tegami o moratta ndesu ka.

    From whom did you get that letter?

    → unknown to listener

However, if the speaker or the speaker's in-group are involved in the "giving" action, then あげる should still be relative to the speaker, not the listener.

Now that we understand how the giving and receiving verbs work, let’s talk about what we give and receive. There are two rules for items that can be used with those verbs.

• You can give can be tangible or intangible things.

  As we saw in the examples above, people usually give and receive tangible things, such as presents, money, and flowers. However, intangible things (e.g., opportunities, breaks, information) can also be objects for giving and receiving:

  • 私は彼にもう一度チャンスをあげました。

    Watashi wa kare ni mō ichido chansu o agemashita.

    I gave another chance to him.

  • プロジェクトが終わったので、会社が休みをくれました。

    Purojekuto ga owatta node, kaisha ga yasumi o kuremashita.

    Since I finished the project, the company gave me days off.

• Whatever is given should benefit the receiver.

  あげる[ageru], くれる[kureru], and もらう[morau] are only used if whatever you're giving is something that the speaker thinks will be beneficial to the recipient.

  母は、父にプレゼントをもらって、うれしそうでした。

  Haha wa chichi ni purezento o moratte ureshisō deshita.

  My mom looked happy because she got a present from my dad.

  The present is considered beneficial to her because she was happy about it. Here is a common mistake:

  • ❌ 私は、先生に宿題をあげました。

    Watashi wa sensei ni shukudai o agemashita.

    I gave the homework to my teacher.

    → You're supposed to do the homework to benefit yourself, not the teacher!

  • ✅ 私は、先生に宿題を提出しました。

    Watashi wa sensei ni shukudai o teishutsu shimashita.

    I submitted the homework to my teacher.

    → This verb is better, since it expresses that the item changed hands, but doesn't imply the teacher benefitted from receiving your homework.

  In this case, あげる cannot be used because homework is something that you are supposed to do for your own benefit, not the teacher’s!

あげる[ageru], くれる[kureru], and もらう[morau] all have honorific forms that can be used to be more polite.

• If you (or your in-group) give something to a person in a higher position, you can use the humble expression さしあげる[sashiageru], rather than the あげる[ageru].

  先生に花束を差し上げました。

  Sensei ni hanataba o sashiagemashita.

  We gave a bouquet to our teacher.

• When someone with a higher social status gives something to you, or your in-group, you can use the u-verb くださる[kudasaru] instead of くれる[kureru].

  社長がおみやげをくださいました。

  Shachō ga omiyage o kudasaimashita.

  The company's CEO gave us souvenirs.

  Note that the -masu form of くださる[kudasaru] is くださいます[kudasaimasu], not くださります[kudasarimasu].

• When you humbly receive something from a person in a higher position, you can use the u-verb いただく[itadaku], rather than もらう[morau].

  上司に結婚のお祝いをいただきました。

  Jōshi ni kekkon no oiwai o itadakimashita.

  I got a wedding gift from my boss.

  Tip

  You may have heard いただきます[ itadakimasu]used before meals! It literally means “I humbly receive,” and this is used to show respect and appreciation for the food we eat.

We learned how to express giving with あげる[ageru] and くれる[kureru], and receiving with もらう[morau]. Here’s a summary for you:

• あげる[ageru](to give) → the gift travels away from you: "we gave..."

• くれる[kureru](to give) → the gift travels towards you: "...gave us..."

• もらう[morau](to receive) → the gift travels towards you: "we received..."

Ready to practice what you've learned? Check out our giving and receiving in Japanese exercise to test your skills! Happy learning!